Don't Just say you care , Express it too !!

Our parents have done so much for us. Have been there with us through all our trials and triumphs. Guided us, supported us, loved us , corrected us, nurtured us and so much more. What all they do for us cannot be expressed in words . We often acknowledge what they have done and say that we really care for them .
But how many of us truly express it to them?? I think very few. Its equally important to show or express the love , respect and dignity we have for our elders. All our elders deserve true respect and love which should actually be EXPRESSED to them rather then just saying " We really care." Through my own experience and many others I have felt that elders don't need anything else than love , affection and true respect. Then why does it become so difficult to express that love to them.
Don't think that there is no need to express when they already know how much I care for them. Its equally important and essential to say it . Just think, if everyday you express some of your love to them How happy they would be. Sometimes the simple gesture of saying , "OH !! Mom Dad, I love you so much !!" makes them feel so special . And what does it takes from you , just nothing. Infact whenever you will make them feel special, you yourself will feel so happy and will love them even more.
I do it daily , I make it a point that I make them feel special some way . Let me list some things that I often try.
-- I often go in the kitchen and hug my mom and say " I love you so much !! . You are so special"
-- Whenever Dad is tired , just acknowledge the hard work he does for all of us and say "Papa you must be tired , you work so hard for us. I am really grateful to have you ".
-- When mumma is tired and doesn't want to cook , I offer her that I will make the dinner today . ( Not very often I say this but sometimes I do :) )
-- Just tell them the good qualities which you would like to imbibe from them. Like I want to be a great human being like my mother and yes I make it a point I say it to her .
-- Make mother's day and father's day a special day for them. Some occasions are great opportunities to express your love . It can be by giving them a surprise, going out , giving a card, a gift, or just a hug saying "How precious you are for me."
There are so many other million things you can do , What I wanna convey here is that just don't hide the love you have for your elders , express it and see the change it brings in your relationships.
All the best to all of you !! I just love my parents so much !! They are really special and I take care that I make them feel it very often !!

First create , than Spread Happiness !!

I have made a rule in my life that I will create more happiness for myself and for the people around me. I truly believe that true happiness entirely depends on your attitude towards life. If your attitude is positive, forgiving than no situation can bring sadness in your life. Often it happens that problems do come in your life but it again depends on your attitude that whether you focus on the problems or the solution for those problems. Its quite insane to resist what has already happend in your life. It cannot be undone , so the most logical step to follow is to look for solutions rather than talking about the problems and feeling bad.

By applying this simple rule into my life , I am able to create happiness in each moment and thus spread more happiness to others as well. As it is been said that one who is happy fom inside can create outer happiness for others. I feel so blessed that whatever happens in my life is always for my good . When you start feeling this way and have the feeling of satisfaction that I have talked about in my previous post than automatically happiness comes into your life.

Now that I have followed the first step of creating happiness from within so I can go on to next step to spreading it effortlessly for those around me. Everyday I make it a point that atleast I help any two people in this world and bring smile on their face. I have been regularly doing it past some days and at the end of the day when I think about what I have done today I feel so happy and cheerful. Its really an amazing feel. You all try it too , today make a promise to yourself that everyday you will do some good and bring smile to atleast two persons in this world . Just imagine that if everybody starts creating happiness for others how lovely this life will become for each one of us. So come on join in and create more happiness !!! Just stay happy , Life is really amazing and beautiful !!! :)

Satisfaction ..... A simple WAy to Inner Peace and Eternal Happiness!!

Satisfaction in a person's life is a way to peace and harmony. Here I am not talking about aimless life or desireless life but what I am saying is not attaching to those outcomes and desires, rather being happy , content in the present while setting goals for the future. The future will take care of itself but what we truly have with us is NOW , the eternal present.

Being satisfied doesn't mean that your desires are dead for the future or the conviction and intention to achieve something ends. No, it doesn't mean this. It simply means that you are satisfied with the present situation of your life having no regrets, no hard feelings like resentment, deficiency, jealousy, hatred etc which thus helps you to attain inner peace and happiness maintaining the optimism to achieve what else you want in the future.

By following this act of satisfaction , which brings happiness to a being he is even more energised to achieve greater things in the future as well . This is because his mind power is not leaking away in unnecessary regret, worries , sadness from the past , but in contrast he is very happy in the present and thus focusses all his power in the present for attaining even bigger goals in the future. Only a happy being can create more happiness into his life.

Thus by accepting the NOW, embracing the present without any complaints and feeling grateful to what you have received You attract long lasting peace and cheerfulness.

As said by Zen masters Dont try to force outcomes , let them happen. Be open to what emerges in your life as you never know what will happen or what opportunities will arise , until you arrive at that moment. So just learn to be content satisfied and happy with what God has offered you now keeping the faith that when the time will be right you will get what all you want in your life.

We have no way to predict the future . We cannot control it. And when we admit we can't predict or plan or control the future whats the next logical step? Just accept the present moment gracefully with content and smile and have faith in God !! He can see the bigger picture and gives you what is the best for you. Believe me on this !!

Teaching Co-opeartion is what we actually need!!

If someone advocates that teaching Competitive spirit is more important than cooperation and team work , as in the world today everyone thinks that you need to be competitive enough than I would OPPOSE this belief. I see it as a short term vision story. Basically it just speaks up for the early stages of a child's life and that too to a very small extent. But if we talk about it in a long term than I would say that Cooperation is much more important than competition.
For Example: When you join an organisation than no management would like the employees to compete among themselves and thus have hard feelings for each other's success rather they would appreciate and long for a collaborative , cooperative team spirit to be present in all of its employees.
Here is when the problem arises now , a child who has been taught the virtues of competition since childhood is not at all able to work in cooperation with others and thus often lacks the team spirit . Then the organizations arranges team work training programs for them. After attending those trainings they try to follow it for some days but than 95 % of them come back to their childhood old lessons of competition. Such situation thus becomes very difficult to overcome both for the employee as well as the employer.
Now you only tell me is it right? Is it the way it sholud be going? It is obviously difficult to change a habit you have been following since 18-20 years , untill and unless someone wants to do it from within by self realization and self awakening . There is no other way to bring a change at this stage of a person's life. And the percentage of such people would be very small.

So the best possible and sane method to solve this problem is the awakening that a child needs to be taught the right lessons of cooperation since form the early stages of his/her life. We need to be clear on what we want from them when they grow up and teach them that only since the very beginning. If we do not teach right virtues to them how can we expect that they will follow what they don't know.
Children need to be taught that there is abundance of everything in this universe and they need not compete to achieve or get something. With cooperation they can get better results and make long lasting relationships as well. When they think this way then abundance will flow into their lives automatically. They need to be told that the only competition they have is with themselves so that they run their own race . As has been righty said " True nobility does not lie in being superior to others , it lies in being superior to your former self ."

EDUCATE THE EDUCATOR !!!!

Today as the value system, habits and behavior of kids is changing, we have to find out what is the reason for this and how it can be corrected.
Feeling of love, respect for others dignity, freedom to express and follow your dreams, patience, warmth, using the power of now ,connection with the soul etc is just some alien thoughts for them and will be more so in the generations to come . It is the education of the child which sets the foundation for all this , so if these qualities are absent or say vanishing than the biggest role played is by the education of the individual right from when he was a small kid. Setting up a wrong foundation gives destructive results which the world is facing in the present and will face in the future as well.

Now when we know the problem and the cause for it than the next thing to be done is to find a solution for the same. The solution is simple but as it happens always , simple things are never seen and often neglected . It is clear that to set up right values, ethics, habits and intelligence in the kids it is very essential that the education has to be appropriate and correct in every aspect . The right kind of education begins with the educator , who must understand himself , for what he is , that he imparts. If he has not been rightly educated, what can he teach except the same mechanical knowledge on which he himself has been brought up? The problem, thus is not the child but the parent and the teacher. So the prime need of the hour is to EDUCATE THE EDUCATORS of the world. The educators have to realize that the future depends on them and their power , understanding to teach the right things in the right manner at the best time in a child’s growth cycle is really important . It is very essential to teach them the right ways they have to follow to impart good valuable education to the kids.

When the educators were kids wrong education system and procedures have made them faulty themselves, so first they have to be educated to bring them in a different mould and simultaneously break that mould in which they were casted when they were small kids. This is relevantly difficult to do than to make a right mould for a child right from the very beginning. Because most of us are already crystallized within a system of thought or a pattern of action, we have already given ourselves to some ideology, to a religion or to a particular standard of conduct. That is why we teach the child what to think and not how to think. We are not deeply aware of ourselves, our thoughts and feelings are stereotyped, automatic. We learn a few subjects, gather some information and then try to pass it on to the children. If we educate the educators in the right way then it is inevitable that the education and foundation of the kids whome they will teach will automatically be corrected.

If the educator is to help the student to examine and understand the values and influences that surround him and of which he is a part, must not he be aware of them himself?
If one is blind , can one help others to cross to the other shore???

The child is influenced by the people and the things about him, and the right kind of educator should help him to uncover these influences and their true worth. Merely to follow a system whether political or educational will not solve any purpose for the educators, they have to be awakened that they need to break those boundaries created around them and feel the importance of their roles as educators in this world. So the prime need of the hour is to EDUCATE THE EDUACTOR!!!

The BEST AND THE ONLY WAY to teach a child is to set an EXAMPLE .

“Children are like wet cement , whatever falls on them makes an Impression.”

This is a very famous quote which we often come across but do we really understand it well. If we do then why do we set wrong examples for kids everyday for them to watch and imitate the same.
"If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves" - C. G. Jung
If we want to teach and inculcate good habits, behaviors, values, ethics and manners in our kids then why do we always forget that it is us who have to first do the same. Children in their early years are excellent observers and they try to imitate each and every thing they see around them. If you smile in front of a kid then it is inevitable that you will get a smile back.

We have to be really cautious that we do not teach them wrong things by setting up a wrong example. We often get angry with the kids when they start telling lies to us but in this course we forget that we only taught them to lie when they were young and we told them various small lies which were quite insignificant at that time. But the realization that those small and unimportant lies will have a profound effect on the child’s future , this we are unable to see. Often the small unnoticeable things are neglected by us which really effect a child’s overall personality.

If for example, you want your child to eat green leafy vegetables and he/she doesn’t like eating it , so what do you do? Well you bribe the child that if he eats it then you will go to the park with him/her in the evening. The child becomes happy and your trick works. He eats the vegetable. Then in the evening the child was all excited to go to the park but then you remembered that you have to go to meet your friend and so turns off the child’s excitation by saying to him that you will go tomorrow with him for sure.
Now here you have taught three wrong lessons to him with this small instance ie.
First of all to teach him giving bribes by telling him to eat vegetables in return for going to park and thus making him realize that there are conditions joined with what he wants .
Second teaching him to break his commitments and that promises are not important by not going with him to the park.
And lastly the act of procrastination by promising him again to go the next day.

You might be thinking what this small instance have a effect in the long run but let me remind you that children are very quick learners and will definitely remember these instances in future as well and then will act in the same way while dealing with others and thus will have a lasting effect on their overall personality and values system. So we have to be really cautious about what we do , say and how we act with them.

Also remember one golden rule that - while teaching a child anything, do not insult him/her. No reprimands in public or in the presence of friends. Children are entitled to their dignity too. If a mistake has been made, wait until you are alone with the child and then gently correct him/her.
Teach him the importance of giving respect to others by giving the same to him. But teaching by example goes beyond how we treat our children. It has to do with how we treat others as adults, how we treat and talk about others outside the family. It has to do with how we lead our lives. Think back to how your own parents influenced your moral development by the examples they set.

You can demonstrate that it is much more fun to share joys and toys, by sharing what you treasure. You can train a child to show respect to elders by treating your own elders with the utmost respect. You can help a child imbibe the value of education by continuing your own learning process, or taking up some course of study.
Building up ‘good qualities’ is never easy. But the best, and perhaps the only, way to teach a child anything is to set an example.

When a child is born , he is innocent, loving, affectionate, courteous, calm, forgiving, confident ,selfless, serene and willing to help everyone but we hamper his these in born qualities by doing wrong cruel things in front of him and setting up wrong examples. But now it is high time and we have to change NOW . For the time is Now And only NOW !!

MaGIC of SMILE ... :)

" A smile is a language that even a baby understands."

Smile do wonders which nothing else in this world can do. One day bored from my usual day routine I went to the near by park for a walk. I was a bit sad and upset . Suddenly as I was walking a sweet young kid came to me and gave me an innnocent smile . I don't know what happened but that one smile lifted up my mood and I could not resist but smile back at him. It was then I realized that how can a smile change everything. As soon as I realized this fact , all good things started coming to me and I was getting more smiles . Then my body language , mood, feelings everything suddenly started changing . I could feel happiness in everything. All negative thoughts started withering away. There were other people in the park . I even passed a smile to some of them and when they responded back I felt even better.

I started enjoying my walk , played with the kids there , watch them have fun . An old lady was sitting on a bench alone a bit frustrated , I asked her if I can sit beside her . Talked to her for some while and gave her the same smile which inspired me . And guess what that old lady hugged me and started smiling. And yes we are very good friends now and whenever she feels lonely she talk to me and we laugh and laugh together.
I can never forget that moment in my life as this was the day I realized the TRUE MAGIC OF SMILE ... The wonders it can bring ...

I have realized it completely that the more you feel good, the more you smile , the more it comes to you. When you smile and spread happiness around you then God gives you even more instances to smile and have fun in your life. From that day onwards I get solutions to most of my problems as now I don't get sad , I smile and calmly look for the answers rather than focussing on the problems .
I feel grateful for what I have now. As said in all spiritual books , that when you begin to think about all the things in your life you are grateful for , you will be amazed at the never ending thoughts that come back to you of more things to be grateful for.

"Some people are too tired to give you a smile , so give them one of yours as no one needs a smile as much as the one who has no more to give. "

When you will bring smile and happiness to someone's life then believe me the happiness you will receive in return will be so satisfying. There is no great satisfaction and peace than bringing joy and smile in someone'e life . Try it and you will understand what I want to convey. May God bring loads of Smiles in everyone's life !!! :)

Now take the second step ... Practice Forgiveness ..

"To forgive is the highest , most beautiful form of love . In return , you will receive untold peace and happiness."
It is very true that the day we learn to forgive ourselves and others ,than we can be free of many bad feelings in our past and can enjoy the present with more warmth, happiness and positiveness. There is no point of being angry for what someone has done to you rather we should just forgive and move forward.
Forgiveness is the highest form of love you can bring to this world. We never realize that when we don't forgive , the person we are hurting or troubling the most is ourselves . If you have a friend who has done something really annoying and bad .You choose not to forgive him for what he has done to you then just think who is suffering the most in this case?? No doubt your friend would feel bad about it but what about you ? Are you happy being angry with him? Are you happy being frustrated and upset? Are you happy holding negative vibes in yourself ? Are you happy being stuck in your past which can not be changed now? The answer to all this is that ofcourse it does not make you happy . Just think about it what all happens to you when you are angry and holding some resentment in your mind . By not forgiving you are holding those bad memories with you, cursing the other person or yourself for whatever happened, feeling bad all the time thinking about past which cannot be changed now , making your present suffer for whatever happend in the past, creating health problems also and all your peace and harmony is lost.

Now just think what will happen if you forgive and let go all the negativity . You will feel happy, free from your past , you could enjoy your present in much more productive way , will not have negative thoughts going around , better health , more positive will come in your life , and most important you will have peace of mind .

Forgiveness is the trait of stronger people. You will yourself realize that you feel so great by performing this simple gesture to forgive. When we do not flow freely with life in the present moment , it usually means we are holding on to a past moment. It can be sadness, regret, hurt, fear, blame,anger,resentment and sometimes even the desire for revenge. Each one of this comes from the state of unforgiveness , a refusal to live in the present.

I am not saying that past has no role to play in your life, if you have a bad feeling in your past due to anything then just take it as a lesson , no experience is bad there are only lessons . So just learn from it , practice forgiveness for the cause of it and move forward. Thats the path to happiness and peace. Try it and you will know the power in forgiveness as it leads to a happier and prosperous life.
I have followed it and have seen personally that how this simple gesture has made my life so easy and happy .
:)

It's Patience we need !!

We need patience always and everywhere.

When we sit hard at our problems and sums
It's patience we need.
When we find words that are hard to the mind
It's patience we need.
When we lose in a game which we play well
It's patience we need.
When we work willingly, yet they speak ill
It's patience we need.
When we have nuts to crack, but they slip off
It's patience we need.
When we want a solution and not getting it
It's patience we need.
When we talk, listen , write or read
It's patience we need.
When we have sins to be rubbed off our soul
It's patience we need.
When we love someone
It's patience we need.
When we think, or we play or we do things
It's patience we need.
"A little more patience in trouble and pain,
A little less willing at times to complain,
A little more kindness by you and by me,
And oh, how wonderful this world would be !! "

Patience ---- the First step....

' How much patience God has with us!! Should we become annoyed because it seems to us that someone is not correcting himself immediately? We are so demanding with others because we do not know ourselves down to the very depths.' ---- James Alberione

I came across these words and realized it to be so true. Just imagine how many times we as individuals have done wrong things, that could be so annoying to God but still he shows PATIENCE.
Similarly, when we deal with our kids patience is the first and foremost thing needed . It is very important to be humble , meek and kind to them. Children are in the crucial learning phase of their lives . Just imagine how can a little child learn to walk if he is being scolded on taking the first steps while he is just learning. As I said in the earlier post that children learn by immitating their adults so it is our prime responsibility to inculcate patience in them.
Homes are often destroyed by the swirling tornadoes of heated domestic anger. Many families are shattered by lack of patience of
husband with wife
wife with husband
parents with children
children with parents

A child was hearing about war and asked his father how it started. The father patiently sat down and started to explain:
"Suppose America quarelled with England......."
The mother jumped up & interrupted:
"But England & America are not quarelling."
Father: I know , but this is just an example.
Mother: You are misleading the child.
Father: No, I am not.
Mother: Yes, You are.
Father: I tell you, I'm not . It's an.....
Child: Never mind , Dad. I think I understand now.

Do not allow the high tension & pressure of office work or family duties make you forget the prime duty towards kids.
All children are inquisitive. They have bundle of questions which we can't find answers for. I have often heard people saying to kids , "Oh my God!! You are a question mark kid". Parents need amounts of patience in dealing with children. Whenever you get upset with a kid, just remember these years of his life are his real foundation and it is you who have to set it right. It is not always easy to show patience towards your kids when they tend to disturb us and interfere with our accomplishments. It requires Maturity and love.

Both in home as well as outside , if you love others you will need less patience.
Remember , a family where father and mother never agree is built on shifting sands.
After Mary and Joe ( married couple) had their first quarrel, his father-in-law said boastfully, "Everytime my wife and I had an argument, I have the last word."
Not knowing was he serious or not , Joe asked " but how?"
"It's Simple, " he smiled , "I apologise !!!"
All that is needed is understanding, then patience will come by itself.

Build the Foundation NOW !!!

One of my very good friend was sitting with her brother really worried about him. He is just 12 years of age and the level of his anger , irritation and unhappiness is really high. She made every possible bit of effort to make him understand that he should remain calm , patient and happy . She talked to him for about an hour and at the end thought that she have done her part and he has really understood. She went back to sleep feeling happy for him. Then in the morning when they were having their breakfast , she saw the same unhappiness in him again . Then she got upset as to why is he not understanding what she wants to tell him. The same day they had a talk and she made this second attempt to help him out. She was happy that she handled the situation nicely and he has now understood. The next day passed out fine .Then after about two days the same thing happened and he was very upset . Now she got really frustrated as to what is his problem , she asked me why the hell he is not getting things. I still remember that day , when after talking to me she decided to talk to him again , while she was talking to him (considering the things I told her) suddenly certain things started coming in her mind, she could feel some reasons for all this to happen. For some days she thought about the reasons which were coming in her mind and then she got the real problem.

Well if you have a child who has certain habits that upset or irritates you , I will guarantee that they are your habits. Children learn by imitating their adults who are always with them. It’s a very common thing that we usually have certain complaints about our children , we start giving them lectures and all but we never try to figure out the reasons for that behavior. The truth is that when we are little we learn how to feel about ourselves and about life by the reactions of the adults around us.
If a child is grown up by seeing his parents fighting all the time at home, abusing each other rather than respecting each other’s feeling , then what do u expect from your child???

If you have complaints with him all the time saying that he is not worthy enough , than what do u expect will happen to your child’s self confidence and self approval???

If you always show irritating, angry reactions to him than how can you expect your child to be calm , polite and at peace???

Self approval and self acceptance in the now are most important to bring positive changes in your life , however if your behavior and attitude towards your child is not right than he will never have these virtues in his personality . Whatever degree or education he gets but until and unless his BASIC FOUNDATION is weak he will never be successful professionally and personally.

We in the present are highly responsible for the future of the kids . It is our prime responsibility that we build a strong foundation for them so that they move to the highest peaks. We need to understand that in order to inculcate positive habits and attitude in our kids , first we need to implement the same. We cant teach them what we don’t follow ourselves. My friend made the same mistake with her brother , she used to give him lectures about not to get angry but then when she looked back upon her own behavior she realized that she herself is not at all calm. She used to shout at him all the time , always have complaints about one thing or the other , she even used to talk badly with her parents sometimes and much more . And then the other day she was giving him lectures not to do the same . Thus behaving in exactly the manner we all do . How could we even think that it will work… She realized that untill an unless she change herself she wont be able to change him.

We need to be really cautious of our behavior specially in front of our kids. We can make them great individuals if we nurture them in the right way . There are many aspects which we need to take care of : like being positive , teaching them the significance of patience in their lives , being loving with everyone in the family so that they also behave in the same way and much more… this would just be a beginning to make them much more responsible and loving human beings.

Parents usually have a notion that if a kid is doing great in academics than for sure he has a bright future . No doubt academics are essential to move forward in life and to attain our goal but the actual reality is that it is NOT the ONLY thing. With the academic qualification and intelligence it is very important to have the right attitude towards life, have good moral values , loving character , respect for each individual in this world etc etc and its for sure that these qualities can be inculcated only in the childhood . And if we do this now then just imagine what a prosperous, happy and fulfilling life the children will have in the future. That’s the only reason why Strong foundation is a must . So please take this first step for the kids , change yourself and build their foundation. My friend did !!